notes from the road pt. 08

ok, ok... without further adieu.

Last month, I took Jena to Mexico for her birthday. She wanted to go south of Tulum, just north of Belize. I wanted to go to Cuba, so we decided to make it a double whammy jammer and did both.

We flew from New York to Cancun and got in at about noon, but didn't make it to our cabana until dark. We ate at a little restaurant up the road, went home to bed. This was where we slept:



and woke up the next morning to this:



It was like 75º as the sun was coming up and I stood with my feet in the water and watched it all go down...



Then we paid homage to some Mayan Gods. I tried to sacrifice Jena but she speaks better spanish than I do so I decided to keep her around, just in case.



We drove from there, south, to where it is a little more chill. We stopped in this little village on the way and talked to some kids, bought a 6 pack of ice cold Superior beer and drank and drove our way through the jungle...







We had to stop along the way to count our blessings and look into the Virgin of Guadelupe's eyes for faith and redemption.

...she winked at me.



And we got there unscathed.



...Paradise.





delish.



so this is where we stayed, 20 bucks a night.



That night we went out and met these people who were having a private birthday party at this little bar on the beach. They invited us to hang out, so of course we did. The guy who threw the party drove this Monster Jeep, he had just proudly acquired it from the United States and was more than happy to take me four-wheeling in a defunct rock quarry a few miles away (which was drunk and scary and weird but hella fun).





When I left, I gave my camera to Jena and told her to let the kids take pictures of each other and they took these gems:











There is a cruise ship that comes in every day so days are kinda stupid. They have a warning to tourists as they come into town. This was one of the early (probably) American tourists who dared the beaches of this treacherous region, she was given Coco Locos, Zinka for her lips, beads for her terribly obnoxious braided cornrow white-girl-on-vacation-coming-home-with-a-burned-scalp hairdo...and then BEHEADED where her scarred visage would hopefully serve as a warning to casually drunken tourists to heed the terrible wrath of the local headhunters who prey on unwitting victims.



It didn't work.

Anyway, the sun went down



And all the tourists leave at night so the village is locals only.



On our second night, we realized it was Valentines Day (yes, even in Mexico) and they were having a Beauty Pageant / Princess of the town competition.



These were the contestants. So cute.



And the winner was...???



Jena. Of course.

So, I left and was gone for a while earlier that day, and Jena was wondering why it took me so long and I told her it was because wherever I went, I walked like this:



Im a retard. And while she was laughing her ass off, she still wasn't buying it. Oh well.



Ok, back to bed. Somehow the pink mosquito net just seemed so Valentines Day perfect it was kinda gay and disgusting. Shut the hell up.



I woke up the next morning at the crack of dawn and took these pictures before leaving.







Amazing.

Next stop... Cuba.

notes from the road pt. 07

12/20/06:

nevada in december:



nevada:



this is a casino/truckstop where I stopped for breakfast. notice the sign?:



"please see cashier for details" because, you know, she's an expert in foreign and domestic affairs:



and nevada's oldest brothel... now with free wi-fi!:



and for the bonus round, christmas in montana:



my parents house, their 25th anniversary:



see that little black square at the top of big sky?



this is it up close. fucking cold:



"slide for life conditions" means you could slide to your death:



and finally, new mexico, new years eve day:



(and i suppose it's a matter of perspective):

notes from the road pt. 06

11/08/06:

Everyone was so nice about my accident, I'll just say to you all: thanks. And luckily I am ok, not a scratch or a bruise or a bump on me. My friend Greg also escaped without harm. It was insane and scary and sudden and violent, and I really am so grateful that no one got hurt and that I escaped with my health (and limbs) intact.

To everyone who wants to know what happened, basically, I have been working like crazy, and last night (full moon, btw) we wrapped a commercial shoot I was directing for Microsoft (thanks Zane and Camille and Gia and Jake and Jovita and Antonio and Saxon and all my rad bros who came out to work on it - it was like a family affair and it was awesome!)

Anyway, we wrapped and I was driving over the 101, totally exhausted, and a car swerved into my lane and I tried to avoid it and my back tires got loose on me and we fishtailed. Instead of trying to correct it on the second sweep (it could have spun us out into traffic - bad scene) I just let it float. SO we were spinning down the freeway, toward the shoulder and when we were backwards, we hit the embankement and the car flipped and we ended up flying down the freeway upside down in a hail of broken glass.

When we stopped, everything went black. I came back immediately and made sure Greg was fine, we crawled out of the car. It was leaking gas everywhere, we grabbed our shit and waited to see what would happen, the car was in the traffic lane, spilling gasoline. We thought someone was going to hit it and turn the place into a Michael Bay set so we backed away and waited for the firemen to get there. They checked us out, the cops checked us out and we left with the tow truck, two very shaken up and VERY thankful guys.

funniest line of the night:

LAFD fireman: "You're smoking a cigarette"
Me: "Yeah, well I'm pretty freaked out right now"
LAFD fireman: "Right, but um.... you're covered in gasoline."
Me: "Oh. ...sorry."






and somehow, we made it out ok.

notes from the road pt. 05 (why motorcycles are the best)

08/07/06:

from highway 1, the Pacific Coast Highway, just north of San Francisco:

notes from the road pt. 04

07/26/06:

well I'm not techically on the road anymore, but it just sounds a hell of alot better than notes from my bedroom... wait a goddamn second! Thats just not true.
anyway, almost all of these were taken over the course of one day, from bozeman, montana to seattle, washington.

take a look.

I have spoken.

that is all.

notes from the road pt. 03

07/23/06:

part 01:

ok ok, so I got a late start, goddamn bike kept breaking down... I have permanent grease under my fingernails and a whole new (dis)respect for british electrical engineering, SO, I have an operable headlight and no taillight and fuck it, I'm not going back now... I'll try to install a new tail light assembly and wiring tomorrow somewhere along the road.

I am in Longmont now, thwarted by a huge storm...

but found salvation at "Woody's - wood fired pizzas" -they had a sign that said free wi-fi and I was sold. But what they DIDN'T tell me was that they had TV's at every table:

which I thought was disgusting and was another chink in the breakdown of the American interpretation of quality meal time, as enjoyed by families the world over... So I turned mine off in silent protest. That was, of course, until I saw at someone elses table that they had the Simpsons on - and fuck it, I turned the damn thing back on... woohoo!

Well, the storm is getting worse, and I am still hoping to push through to Laramie Wyoming tonight, but it's not looking too good. Whatever, the bike seems to be running tough, so the rest is up to me.

part 02:

(see photos below...)

ok, ok, so I'm in Bozeman, Montana - hanging out with my grandmother, great aunt and my other two aunts... My grandmother makes great guacamole and the best homemade chicken sandwiches... main ingredient? love, of course. and cuz she's awesome. she also taught me my new favorite word: solecism. It's rad because it's something we both hate.

solecism P Pronunciation Key (sl-szm, sl-)
n.
1. A nonstandard usage or grammatical construction.
2. A violation of etiquette.
3. An impropriety, mistake, or incongruity.

I also almost got in a bar fight with a pro rodeo bull rider and team roper (no shit, dude even had the belt buckle to prove it) because I gave his girlfriend a ride on my triumph. oops. But hey! It was her birthday and shit, I knew her first... and I asked him first, and he said ok, but theres something about watching your girl ride off on the back of a motorcycle (with a guy like me) thats gotta get under your skin, no matter what you say at first.

haha, I win.

I am off to Seattle in the morning, wedding time, free champagne and good times. Capitol Hill Block Party, just fun fun fun.

more later, take a look at this: