Last month, I took Jena to Mexico for her birthday. She wanted to go south of Tulum, just north of Belize. I wanted to go to Cuba, so we decided to make it a double whammy jammer and did both.
We flew from New York to Cancun and got in at about noon, but didn't make it to our cabana until dark. We ate at a little restaurant up the road, went home to bed. This was where we slept:
and woke up the next morning to this:
It was like 75ยบ as the sun was coming up and I stood with my feet in the water and watched it all go down...
Then we paid homage to some Mayan Gods. I tried to sacrifice Jena but she speaks better spanish than I do so I decided to keep her around, just in case.
We drove from there, south, to where it is a little more chill. We stopped in this little village on the way and talked to some kids, bought a 6 pack of ice cold Superior beer and drank and drove our way through the jungle...
We had to stop along the way to count our blessings and look into the Virgin of Guadelupe's eyes for faith and redemption.
...she winked at me.
And we got there unscathed.
...Paradise.
delish.
so this is where we stayed, 20 bucks a night.
That night we went out and met these people who were having a private birthday party at this little bar on the beach. They invited us to hang out, so of course we did. The guy who threw the party drove this Monster Jeep, he had just proudly acquired it from the United States and was more than happy to take me four-wheeling in a defunct rock quarry a few miles away (which was drunk and scary and weird but hella fun).
When I left, I gave my camera to Jena and told her to let the kids take pictures of each other and they took these gems:
There is a cruise ship that comes in every day so days are kinda stupid. They have a warning to tourists as they come into town. This was one of the early (probably) American tourists who dared the beaches of this treacherous region, she was given Coco Locos, Zinka for her lips, beads for her terribly obnoxious braided cornrow white-girl-on-vacation-coming-home-with-a-burned-scalp hairdo...and then BEHEADED where her scarred visage would hopefully serve as a warning to casually drunken tourists to heed the terrible wrath of the local headhunters who prey on unwitting victims.
It didn't work.
Anyway, the sun went down
And all the tourists leave at night so the village is locals only.
On our second night, we realized it was Valentines Day (yes, even in Mexico) and they were having a Beauty Pageant / Princess of the town competition.
These were the contestants. So cute.
And the winner was...???
Jena. Of course.
So, I left and was gone for a while earlier that day, and Jena was wondering why it took me so long and I told her it was because wherever I went, I walked like this:
Im a retard. And while she was laughing her ass off, she still wasn't buying it. Oh well.
Ok, back to bed. Somehow the pink mosquito net just seemed so Valentines Day perfect it was kinda gay and disgusting. Shut the hell up.
I woke up the next morning at the crack of dawn and took these pictures before leaving.
Amazing.
Next stop... Cuba.
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